“What happiness are you looking for here?” – why the Soviet oppressed generation does not understand their children who are looking for heavenly almonds

The attitude is taken from friends

We hear about such experiences and inconsistent attitudes both from adult children and from their parents. This different attitude and way of life between the two generations shows that the desire of the younger generation to seek happiness and freedom was not shaped by their immediate environment – Soviet parents did not encourage children to ask themselves questions like, am I happy and what could I do to feel happier. However, such thoughts for these adult children could have come from a slightly more distant environment – friends, acquaintances and colleagues who showed a different direction by example, says the psychologist, psychotherapist Genovaitė Petronienė.

According to the psychologist, there is such an expression “reference group” – these are the people with whom we compare ourselves and take an example, it can be a circle of friends, colleagues. And in this case, parents are on another level.

According to her, the current thirties could already see their parents divorcing, because the previous generation had children while they were still studying, so parents in their thirties are only a little over fifty. “However, if we are talking about older parents, divorce was really rare in their lives,” teaches G. Petronienė.

Such parents did not encourage their children to seek happiness or dare to change something in their lives, because they themselves did not do it. And they do not understand such a desire of their children. “Those Soviet parents might have been looking for happiness, but they were very afraid of suffering financially, because divorce was expensive. And family happiness for them is immediately connected with finances. In addition, about a third of such people were very afraid of what people would say, especially if there were no divorced people in the environment, and it is difficult to be the “first swallow”, says G. Petronienė.

Therefore, when it comes to the divorce that ends in one in two marriages these days…

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